This Is Where I'll Figure Myself Out

by Suburbs

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released March 15, 2015

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mike Bridgett at The Monster House in Waldorf, MD.

Photo by Joshua Levy.



all rights reserved


Suburbs Baltimore, Maryland


nick, franny, mike, phil.

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Track Name: Parkville
When reality hits,
Your circle becomes small
Growing up has shown me
Who's real and who's not
But I won't sit around
And let myself rot
I'll make the best of this town
This is where I'll figure myself out

So run the hell away
(My heart keeps racing)
I'm just trying to say
(My life is boring)
Now it's all on me
(To end this tragedy)
Now it's all on me
(To fix this tragedy)

I can't remember what day it is
'Cause every day feels the same
I love this town
But the people need to change
All I do is watch them walk the streets in pain
Faces filled with angst and vain
Living life through window panes

But I won't sit around
And let myself complain
I won't let myself complain

Pretending I'm okay
To make it one more day
Track Name: Invisible Ink
I walk these empty streets
Guided by the street lights
And the different forms of solitude
That come this late at night

You said I shouldn't blame myself so much
But even if I do it’s still my fault
It’s still my fault

Left out in the cold
With no place to roam
I miss the way
I used to feel at home

I’m outside, come let me in
Your porch light’s starting to get thin
I don’t know where to begin

I am the cracks made on the pavement
Like the windows in your basement
Begging to be fixed

I wrote all of this down
In invisible ink
To let you know
Just how I am and what I think
Track Name: Shoreline
This is something I can't just talk about
It's not that easy when you're slipping in and out
I've been counting down the days
As if they didn't mean a thing
Just like the postcards I sent
Torn up and bent
Just like all the feelings that came and went
It doesn't matter how much time I've spent
'Cause I can't shake this feeling of detachment

I'm always treading water
Or getting washed up by the waves
So call it what you want,
I'll have to deal with it anyways

This vessel's sailing far off course
So drop the anchor, or warn the ports
I'm sick of ending up in places that I don't wanna be
So my pen will tell the stories of my struggles out at sea

Well here comes another night
Of silent sighs and worthless tries to shut my eyes
I guess I'll sleep this off when I'm dead
So instead, I think I'll choose to sail again,
Take a chance, raise my mast, and hope to sail ahead.

Stuck at shoreline looking out at sea
Thinking of all the places that I could be

For every voyage that I welcome or resent, I'll make sure every single minute is time well spent.
Track Name: 40
I woke up at 3:53
In the middle of my sleep
October cold had pierced my walls
And crept under my sheets
I tried to see through
The impenetrable darkness of my room
But it just suffocated me

It got me thinking,
"Hit 40 and head west.
Don't ever look back, it's for the best."
There's nothing for me here,
Nothing to grasp
But if that's the case,
Then why can't I leave?

I heard the train pass by through Rosedale
It made me think of all my problems and all my lies
Track Name: Quiet Okay
I try
To fix things every day
But I'm always holding thoughts at bay
And it's haunting me
The way I never mean the words I say
I'm never quite as good as I could be
It makes me wonder
What I would be, what a shame

I look at all the friends I made
Foundations laid, but ties that frayed
All this talk about potential,
But what about the differential
Between me and the kids who see
The world through better eyes than me
I'm talking in my sleep
And I'm walking with glass in my feet

It doesn't matter who lost, who won
What it costs, it's not fun
I'm sick of hearing the applause towards everything I've done
Towards everything I've done

Everything I've built
(Is overshadowed by my guilt)
And all these places that I haunt
(Are covered in my filth)
But I'll write it 'till my wrist is sore
And I'll lay it on my bedroom floor

Bathing in the glow of my porch light, I sit outside my house and watch the rain hit the road this summer night. Watching the smoke float off off the asphalt, trying to remember when everything felt right.

I know that I'm quiet
And I say I'm okay
But no one sees through
It breaks me every day
And I know that I'm weak
In the words that I say
But I'm just being honest,
I'm quiet okay.