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This Is Where I'll Figure Myself Out

by Suburbs

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1.
Parkville 03:49
When reality hits, Your circle becomes small Growing up has shown me Who's real and who's not But I won't sit around And let myself rot I'll make the best of this town This is where I'll figure myself out So run the hell away (My heart keeps racing) I'm just trying to say (My life is boring) Now it's all on me (To end this tragedy) Now it's all on me (To fix this tragedy) I can't remember what day it is 'Cause every day feels the same I love this town But the people need to change All I do is watch them walk the streets in pain Faces filled with angst and vain Living life through window panes But I won't sit around And let myself complain I won't let myself complain Pretending I'm okay To make it one more day
2.
I walk these empty streets Guided by the street lights And the different forms of solitude That come this late at night You said I shouldn't blame myself so much But even if I do it’s still my fault It’s still my fault Left out in the cold With no place to roam I miss the way I used to feel at home I’m outside, come let me in Your porch light’s starting to get thin I don’t know where to begin I am the cracks made on the pavement Like the windows in your basement Begging to be fixed I wrote all of this down In invisible ink To let you know Just how I am and what I think
3.
Shoreline 04:18
This is something I can't just talk about It's not that easy when you're slipping in and out I've been counting down the days As if they didn't mean a thing Just like the postcards I sent Torn up and bent Just like all the feelings that came and went It doesn't matter how much time I've spent 'Cause I can't shake this feeling of detachment I'm always treading water Or getting washed up by the waves So call it what you want, I'll have to deal with it anyways This vessel's sailing far off course So drop the anchor, or warn the ports I'm sick of ending up in places that I don't wanna be So my pen will tell the stories of my struggles out at sea Well here comes another night Of silent sighs and worthless tries to shut my eyes I guess I'll sleep this off when I'm dead So instead, I think I'll choose to sail again, Take a chance, raise my mast, and hope to sail ahead. Stuck at shoreline looking out at sea Thinking of all the places that I could be For every voyage that I welcome or resent, I'll make sure every single minute is time well spent.
4.
40 01:59
I woke up at 3:53 In the middle of my sleep October cold had pierced my walls And crept under my sheets I tried to see through The impenetrable darkness of my room But it just suffocated me It got me thinking, "Hit 40 and head west. Don't ever look back, it's for the best." There's nothing for me here, Nothing to grasp But if that's the case, Then why can't I leave? I heard the train pass by through Rosedale It made me think of all my problems and all my lies
5.
Quiet Okay 06:19
I try To fix things every day But I'm always holding thoughts at bay And it's haunting me The way I never mean the words I say I'm never quite as good as I could be It makes me wonder What I would be, what a shame I look at all the friends I made Foundations laid, but ties that frayed All this talk about potential, But what about the differential Between me and the kids who see The world through better eyes than me I'm talking in my sleep And I'm walking with glass in my feet It doesn't matter who lost, who won What it costs, it's not fun I'm sick of hearing the applause towards everything I've done Towards everything I've done Everything I've built (Is overshadowed by my guilt) And all these places that I haunt (Are covered in my filth) But I'll write it 'till my wrist is sore And I'll lay it on my bedroom floor Bathing in the glow of my porch light, I sit outside my house and watch the rain hit the road this summer night. Watching the smoke float off off the asphalt, trying to remember when everything felt right. I know that I'm quiet And I say I'm okay But no one sees through It breaks me every day And I know that I'm weak In the words that I say But I'm just being honest, I'm quiet okay.

credits

released March 15, 2015

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mike Bridgett at The Monster House in Waldorf, MD.

Photo by Joshua Levy.

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Suburbs Baltimore, Maryland

BALTIMORE, MD

nick, franny, mike, phil.

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